YoungF's & Screentime

[GrayDuck]

To all those Fogies who are raising younglings - what are your thoughts & guidelines on screen time?

It's hard for me - I feel like I'm a walking contradiction being torn between the pediatric recommended "No more than ONE hour of screentime a day!!!" (which is a joke) - and at the same time saving up for tablets to give them for Christmas.

How are you all finding the balance?!

[Faust]

Whoa blast from the past! Welcome back Grayduck. I can't really answer your question as I gots no yougins to be concerned about, just wanted to say hi.

If you don't have it, NS2 is on sale right now:

http://store.steampowered.com/app/4920/?snr=1_7_15__13

It might get even cheaper on a flash sale or daily deal.

Now that I got some shameless promotion out of the way, perhaps Niteowl or Stonkingbyte could chime in on this thread?

[Canuck148]

Hi GrayDuck.

Here are the basic rules I used to raise my two children.

Rule 1) All extra privileges are earned with added responsibility. For example; They ask to have their computer/tv time extended? They then need to take on an additional chore or invest time in learning. The child feels like they worked for the extra privilege and there for appreciates this added bonus and doesn't take it for granted. Also, if they slack off in their chores, you can simply take away the privilege. You are no longer the bad guy who is dictating to them as they are the ones in control.

Rule 2) They must be active in a out of school sport/activity of their choosing pretty much all year round. They can pick any sport/activity they like but they must finish the season once they have started. No backing out after a few trys because they don't like it (unless of coarse you feel that is in their best interest). My son wanted to quit football after his first couple of practices because it was more work than fun. He ended up playing for 8 seasons and thanks me too this day for making him stick it out.

Rule 3) Bedtime. Always a fight to get the little rascals to get in bed on time. I made bedtime a responsibility which gave them a privilege. They knew if they didn't have teeth brushed and in bed on time, they would lose the related privilege. We did have a rule also, that they could stay up later than bedtime if they wished to read in bed. To this day, both my kids are voracious readers. Both these rules made bedtime, often a parents most stressful experience, into a non-event. They watched the clock and managed their time without anyone having to say a word.


Rule 4) Love and Time. Love is a no-brainer but time is harder to do. Go watch their practises not just the games, they will try harder knowing you are there. Go to the school events they participate in. Spend every possible minute you can with them. Life is short and before you know it, they will be grown and gone.

Hope this helps!

Cheers,
Canuck

[GrayDuck]

Thanks Canuck - some great advice

Faust - I troll around here every few weeks. I have NS2, I think I tried it out for 10 min or so, I'm not sure I have the time / attitude to start from the ground up just yet. A day may come when I teach the oldest duckling to play NS2, we will become newbies together .... then he can quickly master it and proceed to kick my ass like he does on all the other games we play! But it is not this day.

[Faust]

Faust - I troll around here every few weeks. I have NS2, I think I tried it out for 10 min or so, I'm not sure I have the time / attitude to start from the ground up just yet. A day may come when I teach the oldest duckling to play NS2, we will become newbies together .... then he can quickly master it and proceed to kick my ass like he does on all the other games we play! But it is not this day.

I understand. I sent my gift copy to Jabberwock, if you remember him. He got pretty overwhelmed... but then he plays dark souls obsessively!? In any case, the servers still going if you ever want to stop by, albeit not as popular as it used to be.

[mooseman]

Life is short and before you know it, they will be grown and gone.

Man, I am facing this one right now. It's hard. She has her own car, a job, a boyfriend....We are still close but there isn't a lot of time where she is at home, hanging out anymore.

Canuck's advice is all GOLD!

I think TV and movies rot their brains, especially when they are little. I would say zero TV. I would say, "go outside and play." Disney movies are horribly violent and my 17yr old daughter struggles with the whole princess identity crisis thing every day.

It's hard because our culture has become so screen related. A person risks cultural ignorance if they don't watch the right movies and shows. But I guess that's only in certain circles. There are other like-minded people out there who live non screen-focused lives.

[shipwreck]

This is a great discussion and something I've been wrestling with since my daughter (henceforth "lil ship") was borned.

I have attention issues personally, and I teach middle schoolers, some of whom would die quickly if their lives depended on listening to anything besides an explosion for more than one minute. So I want my daughter, 20 months (By the beard of Riker, is she that old?!), to have a good brain and that means very little screen time. I fought tooth and nail for this, trying to ensure that she wasn't even in the room when the television was on at first, and I have eventually relented. This is largely because of other parents, whom I respect, allowing some screen time for their kids. All this means for lil ship is that, maybe, three days a week there is a Sesame Street or Daniel Tiger on which she "watches". By "watch" I mean she does laps around the living room and dances to the theme song. She rarely sits down and truly watches anything for more than 5-10 minutes.

She already loves books and music, which I am thrilled about, and I pray that that sticks.

My desire is for her to be (1) a reader and thinker and (2) socially adept, even when the situation isn't about her. I cannot stand it when I see kids in restaurants or other settings who are unable to simply sit and be there. They have to be playing games on their parents' (or perhaps their own) phone. At worst, my daughter can sit and read a book or color if the goings-on don't interest her.

But, at the same time, I love my screens. I try to avoid the habit of constantly checking my phone, as most adults do, but that's tough. I like computer games and I want lil ship to like them, too, but I guess that's a decision to be made a few years from now.

Phew! Thanks for the rant.

[GrayDuck]

Geeze - I thought I'd come here for some advice from some like minded peeps, but it turns out you guys are far superior parents than I!

Canuck - I immediately utilized some of your advice. I made a list of jobs that the kiddos need to do daily and a couple interesting things happened. 1) they beat me, daily, at getting dressed & ready. 2) Piano used to be a chore, and now it's just a part of our daily routine... AND my son has decided he likes it - WIN (my daugher has gone the other way with piano but I'm still hoping). I need to add to that list - who knew they'd be so willing!

@Shipwrek & Mooseman zero screen time! While I admire your resolve I'm not sure I could accomplish that. I didn't think our habits were that bad until my fellow game addicts (too drastic?) have basically screen-free homes! That's CRAZY! I mean how do your kids know what's cool and now (kidding).

I'm still looking to find the balance - (which is much easier during the school year btw). So keep the advice coming.

On a side note: the previews for Percy Jackson have inspired my family to read a ton this summer. We're almost through the series and are looking forward to seeing the movie next week. I enjoyed my son's reaction to the first movie (which we watched after we finished book one) - He wanted to know why the movie left so much out and ranted at how much better the book was. This is an amazing revelation for a child entering the 2nd grade to have! I hope to transition from Percy to Harry - but my kiddos know how much I love that series and to spite me they're resistant to it... Here's hoping though.

[mooseman]

@Shipwrek & Mooseman zero screen time! While I admire your resolve I'm not sure I could accomplish that. I didn't think our habits were that bad until my fellow game addicts (too drastic?) have basically screen-free homes! That's CRAZY! I mean how do your kids know what's cool and now (kidding).

Well, zero screen time is an unattainable ideal, I think. It's just that the stuff they watch when they are little gets embedded in their psychic DNA, like the aforementioned Disney princess complex. Woods and water, family time and family games are what I wish for our children. I wish I had created more family traditions...

I hope to transition from Percy to Harry - but my kiddos know how much I love that series and to spite me they're resistant to it... Here's hoping though.

We enjoyed the Percy Jackson series as well. And it inspired the kids to go do a bunch of research/reading on their own about myths, legends, and folktales. They became mini-experts on Greek gods and legends. The pantheon of Greek heroes and gods bears a striking similarity to the pantheon of Marvel heroes. I think that they instinctively noticed this and started soaking up the genealogy the same way they have all the sub-plots of the X-men and Sonic down pat.

I am surprised they can resist the allure of the Harry Potter series Our youngf started reading the series long before they could understand the vocabulary.